Meta Description: When providing sex education at home, you should not only address the basics of reproduction but also talk to your kids about the dangers of porn. Here’s how.
How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn: 8 Actionable Steps
Over the last several years, “sex education porn” has become one of the most frequently searched terms among parents that confused about how to talk to their kids about pornography. You might have landed on this page after conducting a similar inquiry yourself.
Unfortunately, informing children of younger generations about porn has become a necessary part of their passage into adulthood. Before the rise of the internet, sex education for kids primarily focused on the basics of reproduction, puberty, and other natural topics. These days, however, education on porn must also be incorporated into general sex-ed discussions. Otherwise, your children may be unprepared when they encounter sexually inappropriate content on the internet.
The question is, how can you make a discussion on the dangers of pornography part of sex education for kids without inadvertently encouraging them to seek out this harmful online content? While there’s no easy way to include pornography in a sex education chat with your kids, there is a right and wrong way to approach the topic. To help you prepare to have this awkward but necessary discussion, we’ve outlined eight actionable steps to guide you through the process.
1. Determine the Scope of the Conversation
Only you can determine when your child is ready for sex education. In the same way, it’s up to you to decide the scope and depth of the conversation that follows.
With that in mind, you should decide how detailed you want to be when discussing pornography with your child. Your decision should be based on your family’s unique dynamics, including your values and beliefs.
Be prepared for your child to know more about the topic than you think. If they have an internet-connected device or are often around other children that do, they may have already been exposed to pornography. Considering this possibility beforehand is important, as it will help you avoid being caught off guard if your child informs you that they’ve viewed pornography before.
2. Set the Right Tone
Tone matters anytime you speak to your children, but it’s especially important when addressing sensitive topics like education about porn. If you choose the wrong tone, your child may shut down and ignore your message. The wrong tone might also discourage them from speaking to you about the subject in the future.
Avoid using scare tactics or shaming your child. Depending on their age, there’s a chance they may have already been exposed to pornography. If they have and you shame them, you could make them feel judged or damage your relationship with them. Instead, focus on providing useful information about the topic. Convey your beliefs pertaining to pornography and explain how such content can be detrimental to them. Doing so will help them better understand your viewpoint and set the stage for future conversations.
3. Start the Discussion
Often, the hardest part of providing sex education of any kind is starting the discussion. Opening a dialogue can be even more challenging when it involves a particularly sensitive topic like pornography.
While being prepared for the conversation is important, you don’t have to rehearse what you want to say. Just think about how detailed you want the conversation to be, determine a few key points you want to drive home, and get talking.
Your child will likely feel just as uncomfortable or embarrassed as you. If you can put forth a calm and confident demeanor, you can put them at ease and make the discussion more productive.
4. Set Clear Expectations
One of the most important things you can do when having “the talk” is to set clear expectations. Be explicit about what sort of behavior is acceptable in your household and what isn’t, and be ready to discuss potential repercussions for violating your rules. For instance, if your kid has already been viewing porn, you might warn them that you’ll take their devices away the next time it happens.
If you don’t take a firm stance against pornography, your child may end up with mixed feelings about it. On the other hand, if you clearly explain that viewing pornography is wrong, they’re more likely to adopt the same attitude.
5. Address Your Child’s Curiosity
Children, especially those going through puberty, are often curious about sex. This is perfectly normal, so you shouldn’t make your child feel ashamed for experiencing it. Instead, you should address their curiosity by covering basic sex education topics like reproduction.
Additionally, you should convey that sexual activities should be reserved for respectful, meaningful relationships between consenting adults. You may also want to convey that pornographic content doesn’t accurately reflect genuine intimacy to ensure that your child doesn’t develop unrealistic expectations.
6. Find Age-Appropriate Resources
There are numerous sex education resources you can use to enrich your conversation with your child. If you’re struggling to connect or broach the topic in the first place, consider finding an age-appropriate book or pamphlet to jumpstart the discussion. Make sure you screen the content before giving it to your child to confirm that it aligns with your values.
Even if you opt to use external resources like books or websites, you should still talk to your child and encourage them to come to you with any questions or concerns they may have.
7. Install Content Filters
You can’t monitor your child’s internet activity 24/7, and standard content filters aren’t always effective at screening pornographic content. With that in mind, consider downloading a third-party content filter on your child’s devices.
A top porn blocker like Detoxify can filter out all pornographic content your child may come across. This app includes custom filtering tools and multiple modes so you can customize the screening process based on your child’s age and activities.
8. Download Parental Control Apps
Downloading content filters is a great first step to safeguarding your child from pornography, but if you have younger kids, you should also consider installing a parental control application like Joey.
This helpful application allows you to control what sort of content your child views, track total device usage time, and institute timed lockouts. Together, these tools can help you guarantee that your young one doesn’t waste hours in front of a screen every day.
You’ve Had the Talk: Now What?
Ideally, talking to your child about the dangers of pornography will help them better understand the risks associated with viewing adult-only materials on the internet. However, children and teenagers are often impulsive and curious.
As such, you should work to foster strong lines of communication with your kids, so they feel comfortable talking to you about pornography and other touchy subjects. You should also continually monitor their online behavior to proactively address any concerning browsing habits.
By following these simple steps, you can better protect your kids from pornography and other problematic online content. If you’d like additional assistance keeping pornography out of your household, explore Family First’s suite of applications. Our software includes porn blockers, parental controls, activity monitors, and other family-oriented technology solutions designed to help you safeguard your loved ones from corrupting influences.