Tips for talking to children so they actually listen

Tips for Talking to Children so that They Actually Listen

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-man-talking-to-his-kids-while-having-breakfast-8763020/

It can be daunting to talk to children and have them listen. Even if they are your own, you may find it difficult to get them to take in what you’re saying. Fortunately, there are some tips that you can use to ensure better communication with children.

Here are a few tips on how to talk effectively so that your message gets through and is heard. From understanding why kids don’t always listen to using positive reinforcement, read on for our top tips for talking with children today!

Start by listening to your child

The most important thing you can do when communicating with your child is to listen to them. Try to understand what they are saying and how they are feeling. This will help you respond in a way that is helpful and supportive.

It can be difficult to know what to say when your child is upset or feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes it is best to just listen and offer comfort. Other times, you may need to provide guidance and advice. The key is to always communicate with respect and patience.


It is also important to let them finish their thoughts before responding. Make sure that you are listening carefully.

By actively listening to your child, you can create an open dialogue. This will help foster trust and understanding between the two of you.

Avoid talking down to them

When you’re talking to children, it’s important to avoid using language that sounds condescending or like you’re talking down to them. This can be frustrating for kids. It can make it harder for them to listen to what you’re saying. Instead, try to use language that is respectful and age-appropriate.

For example, instead of saying “You need to clean up your room,” you could say “Can you please clean up your room?” Or “Can you help me put away these toys?” This communicates your expectations more positively.


Also, avoid using negative phrases like “I told you so” or “I said no.” These statements can make children feel belittled and discouraged. Instead, focus on positive reinforcement. Also offer positive feedback when they make the right choices or do something well.

Use open-ended questions

It can be tough to get kids to open up. But asking the right questions can make a world of difference. Here are some tips for using open-ended questions to get your children talking:

  • Avoid yes or no questions: These types of questions don’t encourage kids to elaborate or share their thoughts and feelings. Instead, try phrasing your questions in a way that requires more than a one-word answer.

  • Follow up with additional questions: If your child seems hesitant to talk, ask clarifying questions or prompt them for more information with phrases like “tell me more about that.”

  • Ask questions that get to the root of the issue: Instead of asking general questions, try to focus on specific topics or issues that may be causing your child distress.

These types of questions encourage children to think critically. They also encourage them to express their thoughts and feelings, rather than simply providing a one-word answer.

For example, instead of asking a child “Did you like school today?” try asking “What did you learn at school today?” or “What was your favourite part of the day?”

These questions show that you are interested in their day. These also show that you are encouraging them to think about and reflect on their experiences. Additionally, using open-ended questions can also help build trust and communication between you and your child. This will make it more likely that they will be open and honest with you in the future.

Show them that you’re interested in what they’re saying

Make sure to give the child your full attention when they are talking to you. Look them in the eye. Don’t interrupt them. Show that you’re interested in what they’re saying by asking questions about it and making comments.

Pay attention to their nonverbal cues as well, such as body language and tone of voice. If you seem distracted or disinterested, the child will pick up on that and be less likely to open up to you.

Give the child time to think before responding and avoid interrupting them

It can be difficult for children to express their thoughts and feelings coherently, especially if they are feeling overwhelmed or upset. Don’t rush them to answer your questions. Instead, give them enough time to think before responding.

Give them time to respond to what you’re saying. Try not to interrupt them when they’re speaking. By showing patience and understanding, you’ll help your children feel more comfortable communicating with you.

When you’re talking to your children, it’s important to avoid interrupting them. If you interrupt them, they may feel like they’re not being heard or valued. Instead, try to let them finish what they’re saying before you respond. This will show them that you’re interested in what they have to say. This will also convey that you respect their opinion.

Listen carefully and validate their feelings by repeating back what they said and by empathizing with them.

Try to see things from their perspective

It’s important to remember that children are not miniature adults. They think differently. They see the world differently. When you’re talking to a child, try to see things from their perspective. What might seem like a small issue to you could be a big deal to them.

Try to use language that they can understand. Avoid using big words or jargon. And don’t talk down to them or treat them like they’re not intelligent. Just because they’re children doesn’t mean they’re not smart.

Finally, listen to what they have to say. Just listen! Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Hear what they’re saying. Try to understand their point of view. It’ll go a long way toward building a strong relationship with your child.

Avoid making assumptions about what they know or don’t know

When talking to children, it’s important to avoid making assumptions about what they know or don’t know. Just because they’re young doesn’t mean they’re not intelligent and capable of understanding complex concepts. Instead of talking down to them or simplifying things too much, try to have a conversation with them on their level. This will help them feel respected. They are also more likely to listen to what you have to say.

Be patient all through

When you’re talking to children, it’s important to be patient. This means taking the time to listen to what they have to say and not interrupting them. It also means being understanding if they don’t understand what you’re saying right away. Children learn at different speeds. So be patient and let them take the time they need to process what you’re saying.

Remember, it takes practice and patience but if you keep trying, your children will soon learn how to pay attention and take in what you are saying. Listening is a skill that all of us should strive towards achieving – not just our children – as it can open up an entire world of opportunities. With the right approach and communication skills, we can help raise effective listeners who will be better equipped to handle life’s challenges in the future.

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