For most of us, porn is a casual encounter, just like smoking. Its starts with fun or peer pressure. This habit of casual viewing on rare occasions slowly becomes our favourite pastime. Similar to casual smoking with friends over a cup of tea, which soon becomes a habit. A habit that seemed so harmless in the beginning slowly occupies more of our time and mind space. It starts impacting our work and personal life.
Mostly, men are the primary consumers of porn across the globe. But a rising trend in female consumers is being observed. Statistical insights shared by the popular website – Pornhub in 2021 showed 35% of visitors to the site are women. There is a 5% increase in women’s traffic in comparison to 2020. The Philippines had more women (52%) visiting the site than men, followed by Columbia at 49% and Argentina at 47%.
There is a rise not only in women’s consumption of porn but also in the development of addiction. Porn is a forbidden topic in most of our homes. The awkwardness around it makes the youth and parents avoid the topic. We are not made aware of the dangers that lurk around us when we are young. With easy access to the internet more and more young adults are getting addicted to it, but are refusing to seek help due to shame and embarrassment surrounding the topic.
The University of Steubenville, Ohiosurveyed 1031 students on the use of pornography and its perception.An assessment ofcompulsive internet pornography useand their emotional and sexual states relative to pornography use was done.Depression, Anxiety and Stress responses were evaluated through multiple questions and the severity of the response was quantified on a scale of 1 to 10. The results showed that 56.6% of the participants had been viewing pornographyfor more than a decade, where the habit was predominantly seen in malesthan females. The primary way ofaccessing pornography was through the internet. Additionally, 17.0% of the participants showed signs of severe depression, 20.4% showed signs of severe anxiety and 13.5% reported extreme stressdue to compulsive pornography use. The side effects on mental health were found in both sexes. The study shows a significant relationship between mental health and pornography use. Thus, emphasizing the need to stay away from such harmful behaviour.
Porn addiction has many ill effects. It leads to loss of sleep, loss of focus at work and discontent towards relationships. Constant viewing keeps us tired due to lack of sleep and leads to poor performance at work. Porn affects the dopamine balance in the brain. It causes a dopamine rush and slowly makes us addicted to this dopamine rush. This addiction starts impacting our routine lives where lack of this dopamine high makes us irritable, angry, anxious or depressed in some cases.Balance of the hormones and neurotransmitters is essential for the proper functioning of our body.Viewing excess porn throws off this balance. Low dopamine levels give us unpleasant feelings making us want the dopamine high again and again.In the absence of this high, the addict feels depressed, stressed, tired, angry, craving, lonelyor anxious, thus making them go back to their habit, making it a vicious cycle.
Quick gratification from porn habituates us for fast and easy results. It makes us avoid scenarios where hard work and perseverance are needed. Working hard at the office or learning a new skill is avoided due to delayed results. These tasks need effort and have no quick gratification, thus forcing us to avoid working towards things in our interest. Procrastination at work and poor performance eventually impact our appraisals, making us feel dejected and go back to viewing porn – a vicious cycle.
Adolescents can develop personal insecurities, especially about their physical appearance or sexual performance. Comparing ourselves with the movies makes us lose confidence. Spending time with friends turns into spending time with porn. Happiness, love and intimacy soon become unnecessary. This thrill soon takes us to the path of loneliness.
Pornography is a large and competitive industry. Each production house is trying to keep its viewers hooked to its content to generate more revenues. Novel content gets created constantly to increase viewership. The actors are made more attractive with each new video, along with more twisted content, for greater arousal. The unreal and extreme content created by pornographers leads to losing interest in our relationship/marriage. We areunable to commit to our partners due to boredom for want of something more exciting. Being unable to find on-screen beauty in real life makes us lose interest in relationships.We are unable to stay stable in any relationship and our mind keeps wandering off to the next person in hope of greater excitement. Relationships are unstable and short-lived. Some of us become more aggressive as violence gets normalized in our minds.
As time passes, we realize that we have fallen deep into the pits of pornography and want to break out of it. By then, it is too late. Due to shame and embarrassment about our behaviour, we are unable to confide in anyone. Our frivolous approach toward relationships has left us lonely. We have no one to rely upon and help us. Not all are comfortable sharing such problems with family members, friends or work colleagues. Thus, forcing us to go back to porn for comfort. This further isolates us from friends, family and partners. In a desperate attempt to get out of this habit, some of us try to self-medicate.To avoid these negative feelings, some indulge in alcohol or substance abuse, further triggering low feelings.
Discipline and dedication can help get rid of this nasty habit. It may seem that there is no way out. Understanding ourselves better and finding the external triggers that lead us back is a start. Stay away from peers and friends who take us back to our old habits. A hobby or a positive and productive activity can keep us engaged and take our minds off porn.We should spend quality time with family and friends. Playing a sport with our kids or friends in our free time. Physical sports exhaust our minds and body, helping us sleep better. Practising yoga and meditation help our insecurities. Waking up early in the morning and retiring early at night, can help overcome the late-night temptation.
Getting rid of all our physical and soft copies of porn is important to prevent relapses. Talking to our close ones and informing them about our resolve helps us stay focused. Install anti-porn software on laptops and computers. Keeping a diary helps us plan our days – identifying the weekends, holidays and free time. Making plans with family and friends – sports, movies, theatre, dinner at a restaurant keeps us occupied. Participating in a self-help group to share our insecurities and challenges with the group. Being with like-minded people trying to get out of a similar situation, will keep our resolve strong. Tracking the setbacks in the diary helps to work on them. If the problem still exists, seeking professional help – a counsellor or psychiatrist is advisable.It is a habit hard to kick. With time and perseverance, the results will soon be visible. One day we will gain victory over our habit!